Brains and Rib Cages

I am sitting here in my sunroom listening to peepers sing in the warm spring evening and thinking through memories of my younger years that were  filled with despair. When I was young a dark shadow breathed sorrow into my soul; waking up each day became a hassle which I would groan away, I had a hallow world inside of my heart and cold blood flowing through my veins that made me shiver therefore I searched not for fullness of life but ways to take me to a tightrope or cliff edges, anything to potentially release my being from the pain that I was constantly feeling. Now, within the past 2 years my world turned around.. I picked flowers from the ground and experienced the beauty of laughter. I pushed myself physically, mentally, and emotionally and have revealed to myself the strength that I have always possessed. Day by day my happiness increased by just a smidgen.
3 years after my spirits just began rising, I took a ride on a bicycle in Athens, Ohio with my dear friend Zach Roller on St. Patrick's Day, 2012 in the sunshine riding up and down hills... the ride ended in me losing control, flipping over the handlebars and landing on the pavement headfirst. My brain hit the two sides of my skull like a bouncy-ball causing severe bleeding and swelling; traumatic brain injury caused the left side of my body to become temporarily paralyzed as well as significant loss and damage in memory/thinking abilities and my rib cage crushed onto the pavement nearly collapsing my lungs. This subdural hematoma as well as lung injury should have killed my 20 year old being, but I unconsciously pulled through and didn't surrender to this easy way out of living life.
Today, one month and a day after I fell, I feel this warm blanket of peace not only covering my shoulders and legs but seeping into my veins and organs... I am fortunate to be alive, blessed to have multiple challenges to rise to, and absolutely thrilled to create with the beauty of  the unique personality that I have to offer the world. Each day is a gift and each moment of laughter is a time of joy and pleasure that I never turn down taking part in. The best advice I have ever been given was a year or two ago from my mother Ruth when she said: "Never be a victim. You have the ability to conquer and rise to take care of yourself, you don't need others to do the work for you and you never want to blame another for the situations that you're put in" and my goodness has that advice stuck with me and especially now it has positively effected my mood. I am in bed with a splint on my dominant right arm, no close friends near by and a cane at my side for every walk to another room, yet I am able to create art with my left hand and look out at green grass and beautiful trees and listen to wonderful night creatures singing me lullaby's. I am alive and I am whole in my own being: able to wake up each morning ready to conquer the day in all of it's uncertainty, I am able to respond kindly to others and offer compassion and care and kindness in an effort to positively effect the universe of which I owe and desire to give the best of myself to. I have this beautiful gift of LIFE to be a part of and within the last month I have realized that with each and every day I have a beautiful opportunity to go through all of it in an effort to be THE ABSOLUTE BEST human being that I can possibly be. It is SO exciting to have this chance and never again will I take it for granted. I love being alive today, I can say with such confidence and joy that, through drastic circumstances I am the happiest I have ever been in my life so far. I have seen the beauty in humanity and the strength of friendship and bonds through love, compassion, and sincere kindness. My heart is full of love and my brain overflows each day with new insights and creative ideas. I am not a victim, I am blessed beyond words. I have blank canvases in my sun room to CREATE and I am absolutely ecstatic to continue doing so. Thank you:)