colder than cold

I could love you in the wind of this season
I could spoon you in my single bed
in the corner of my clean room,
play the perfect music and rub your arm
I could make the Dean's list in school
and make friends with all the cool kids
I could sign a lease for a studio apartment
and keep it as clean as I please
I could hold your hand,
glove in glove,
crunch leaves along the way
I could love you
and tell you all about the Black Walnut
that stands outside my window
and wake you up at 7
to show you the sunrise that shines behind it
I could get drunk again
and make friends with all of my friends
talk about nothingness
and how great it feels to be alive
the importance of spelt grains
and how monumental it is that we agree
Or I could study
and go to sleep when I want
and never feel like I have to justify why
I could make a playlist
and share it with you
or I could listen to it alone,
knowing the perfection of one track
after the other
I could take your picture
or not
I could take you on an autumn drive
with music to fit the mood
and leaves falling on the windshield
Or I could stay away in my own mind
and drive until I got tired
with no one in the passenger seat
That would be fine.