Ah!!
A picture of fall or winter even if just a glimpse, a tree with orange and brown leaves, a chilly breeze, joshua radin CD (Simple Times), and so many other things! it happens in my.. heart, and stomach, and even every where else - my arms and legs and cheeks, i feel the weather. I feel everything that went with it. i can't help it, it's inevitable, it comes back SO FAMILIAR. unbelievably familiar. it's like for a split second, when i'm truly reminded, i step back into that time... like i said, only a split second every time... or maybe 2 or 3 seconds i suppose, but whatever it is, it happens and i REALLY FEEL it!!!!! it's unbelievable. it's not here, i'm not there, it's gone, but i feel it. i feel exactly how it all felt, every bit of it.
the day we walked down the driveway where we weren't supposed to, and ventured off into the woods, love on the rocks, a stream, brown trees, i feel it now.
i'm in such a strange state. doing what i have to, not really very happy, but constantly trying. such a weird place. and i'm on my own. i can tell anyone my feelings and thoughts, they keep helping, so so sweet and i love you all. but really, it's just me. and you're just you i guess?
peculiar.
:(
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