saving lives

I have become way too consumed in my control drama. Health is vital. Bad health generates unhealthy thought patterns and judgements.I need to shake this. I need to focus. I need to be aware of purpose. To breathe in the freezing, fresh 1 a.m. air. A sky deep and whole and empty and dark blue with absolutely precise sparkling stars. A tiny pinch of effort. I can go somewhere, I just have to do something. I have to realize life is happening and I am alive in it and I need to be more confident that I'm doing something for a purpose and I can think and plan and do for myself and as myself. No more so dependent. Wake up and make decisions and plan and go places and do things in trust with myself. I need to be more sure of myself. Eat healthy. Sleep well. Exercise. Take care of myself and I will be able to think clearly. I can't depend on these people and allow them to be as a support beam so that I feel as if I can just slip and keep slipping. Take care of yourself so you can be clear minded and able to enjoy the company of others in peace and health.

And once I get over this lump that I keep stumbling up, I know that I will be able to cut out my excessive use of the word "I."

If anyone should hold me I shall let it be the universe.
Time to stand up, breathe, focus.
Patience
clearing the mind is the main focus.



shhhhhhh