yes, so on and so on

This. is. Crazy.

I'm just on the verge of tears. My heart could explode! If it did I would imagine all of the colors in the world bursting right in front of my eyes. They wouldn't disappear they'd just follow me around, a different form of love, of beats, of everything I'm feeling.

My soul... splitting open, exposing itself, full of wisdom and insecurities. And things I don't understand, and things I'll never understand (that's crazy). What the heck is all of this!

And my brain, melting and oozing, ideas and embarrassing thoughts, sweet thoughts, funny thoughts, cute thoughts, bad thoughts, sad thoughts... all of them dripping to my feet and sticking to my toes, walking around with me anywhere I go.

i don't really actually know what to do! my head is spinning.... no, no it's not moving. it's just stuck in one place and filling so much. there is like this insane pressure

Love large enough to want to shrink
Been done enough to start to think
I might cut right back on the heart attacks
I might cut right back on the heart attacks
And so on, so on, so on and on
So on, so on and on
It was brave to play
It was an honor to lose
All the banners wave
All the fans salute
I am going away but not away from you
I have found the difference between the two
So on
So on
So on
We want too much
It's a given
In the bones of the matter we live in
I want more than can be given
At the heart of the matter we live in
So on

i honestly can't grasp this. there's like a thick layer of... something slippery on my hands. i feel shaky and tired. i feel like i haven't taken a breath for a while and i feel like i don't have time to take a breath, i mean like it jujust feels soooo rushed.

thunder is rumbling outside.
lightning is striking.
some things just can't be understood
or felt
or registered
until you're
RIGHT
there.



i am right [t]here